Dear Neighbor,
Hey, it's Muff, your neighbor to the right, ya know, the one you never wave back too? Ya, me. Anyways...just thought I'd point out that THERE IS A MUTHAFRICKIN' HURRICANE HEADING OUR WAY...seriously, the weather channel has it's camera directed at my house and I'm pretty sure I just saw Jim Cantore huddling in my bushes outside...that being said, I'm just curious WHY IN THE HELL you would feel the need to put all of your sharp, potentually flying debris N shit in the front of your yard??? Seriously? You have wood siding piled up. You have a trash can full of random junk. You have a big ass ladder (really?) and as a finishing touch you have a big 'ole pile of tree limbs and crap...Your house looks like the storm has already hit it and you are tucked comfortably in your Fema trailer.
Ummm, yea...Can you say insurance fraud? Well guess again Mr & Mrs Clampett cuz I just tempted fate (and risked my life, I might add) and ran out in the pouring ran just to snap a picture of your clusterf**k...YUP I DID, and guess what? When all that crap hits my house or shears my head off when I'm trying to peek out my window...I'm gonna sue your hillbilly ass. I'm gonna take your house, demolish it and plant a lovely garden of tulips and daffidils.
So thank you very much ASSHOLE and I hope your house is weakened by termit infestation and blows away.
Love,
Your neighbor Muff
*** Don't you worry sister....I am now first aid certified...got a card and everything so when that board gets impalled in the side of your head or tree limb gets stuck up your ass I know what to do.
Love You,
Tootie
