Awwww, poor tootie.

Poor Tootie is getting her laptop worked on and can't get on Tootie and Muff...so in FULL and TOTAL support of her...I post the incredibly awesome Olgavie home perm and lucky charm birth mark for the world to see. We miss you Tootie.

~Muff~

Special shout out...Muff style

I would like to take a moment and recognize a very special Tootie and Muff reader who is currently deployed to Afghanistan...PEANUT HEAD this is for you buddy....and I quote "Next to getting married and the birth of my kids, the ressurection of Tootie and Muff is the best day of my life"

I miss you and BE SAFE PH...see you soon!

Never have truer words been spoken...

'Nuff said.

~Muff~

Allow me to ring your MuthaF#CKIN' Bell

I make no secret how I feel for the bell ringers...let me clarify that I FULLY support the Salvation Army and all the wonderful things that the organization does for the less fortunate...but Bell ringers? Hate 'em. Not all...but a LARGE MAJORITY.... Oh yes I do and let me tell you why....they are smug, staring you into guilt judgers!

So there I am...after work...tired...hungry and realize I need something from the grocery store, no problem...zip in, zip out...and then, as I step out of my car...I HEAR IT...stops me dead in my tracks...SHIT! THE BELL RINGER...and I think, "Who carries cash anymore?"...not muff...so I go over my options...RUN into the store and avoid all contact or go back to my car and dig out change out of my ashtray holder...DAMN......just made eye contact...MUTHAFRUCKA....back to the car I go....dig dig dig....ok, a handful of non quarters (don't judge me)...and back through the parking lot...*ringring*... yea dude...I get it, I know what you want and I know how to do it....*RINGRING* STRAIGHT STARING AT ME and ringing that bell with FORCE...seriously dude, here ya go, stop ringing the bell so loud...so I forceably shove those coins in there, ONE BY ONE ;)...could be DOLLAR coins for all this guys knows...whatever....duty is done, into the store I go.....SOOOOOOOO, GET THIS B.S...I waltz out of the store a mere 10 minutes later and that jackass from before had the AUDASITY to go on break and now this OTHER dude is there ringing that dayum bell!!! He doesn't know WHO I AM! He doesn't know I might of just stuffed alot of money in that kettle!!!!! WTF!!!!!! So I do what any other respectable woman in my position does.......

I pretend I have a very important call and run to my car....Merry Christmas to ME.

~Muff~

WOOB..start your engine!

Apparently 3am is the new exciting to play with our new toy that our momma so graciously got for us...yep...like clock work, I'm awoken by a single squeek...then another...and another in rapid succession...then it's RACE CAR WOOB....All I hear is the clang of dogtags...my cream suede couch being used as a launch pad...*YELP* (an unfortunate landing)....and the squeek of a one eyed (also lost in the launch) mutant squirrel toy....ROUND AND ROUND the living room Woob goes...in her peanut mind I'm certain she thinks she is a Greyhound turning the last bend towards victory...or out in some forest destroying the meek little critters in her ferocious jaws... OUT the dog door she flies, shaking the door so hard with her "big boned frame" that I'm afraid she has torn my sliding glass door off the rails....seconds later....she's back...panting...last bit of effort throws her body up on the bed and presents me upon my face a soggy, grass matted squirrel toy....~finally~...the race/hunt is over.....3:05 am......time to go back to bed.......*SQUEEK*